Do you know what you're looking for? Do you know what you want? When you are with a crowd of strangers, can you tell which among are your "people"? Can you trust yourself knowing that these people are not good for you? Do you have a healthy sense of self worth? Do you see the red flags and go with your judgment? Or do the opposite and let people manipulate you, abuse you and use you? #lifetransformation #declutteryourlife The same songs with the same old rhymes Tell me to shake it off and swing from the lights But I can’t help but drive away from all the mess you made You sent this hurricane now it won’t go away Loving you is too hard, all I do is not enough, left me hurt, I get burnt I cannot be loving you... I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it or even to reminisce what I've been through. Flashbacks, exactly at this time of the year, I was struggling, confused and in pain. It's also the time of the year that I hated, skipped it, and wish to pass. I was in a relationship but I felt so alone. I didn't understand the situation at all until I read one of Savannah Grey's posts about "Why narcissists ruin the holidays". It's a melt down. I had to do what I needed to do but I did not have enough courage to leave a relationship that was not good for me from the start. (Check out why codependents attract narcissists). I let the cycle repeat itself and since I wasn't practicing self love/self worth, people come and go, invading my space and stepping on my boundary.
Narcissists are not aware that they have to heal the issues from their childhood nor accept that they have to go through therapy. I never thought that I would experience the myth called narcissism..they do exists. It took me years to be awaken and there's still "nightmares" that I don't want to re-live. I started taking care of myself. I splurged on things that makes me feel good from furnitures to decors, scented candles, incense sticks - whatever that makes my house a home - a comfort in a midst of a chaos. I went crazy for the first 6 months on finding what feels good - not advisable. I decluttered my life. I am no longer afraid to be alone as I let go of people and things that were not for me. They were replaced by new found friends, circle of incredible people who share the same struggles and beliefs. I started to cultivate healthy habits like doing yoga every morning, found minimalism, and met more mentors, advocates that are practicing wellness. It's a great feeling to go back to that center. And sharing it to the world that you are not alone. I've been there. It's such a breezy, wonderful night. Everyone seems enjoying the evening. I appreciated the stillness, so thankful at the present moment, I am so alive.
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AuthorAdvocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time. Archives
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Photos used under Creative Commons from mikecohen1872, tomaszbaranowski007, wuestenigel, Terry Goodyer, dan.terrett